stateofdecay | (no subject)

bat-ball n hand-ball coordination are 2 totally different parts of the brain. you can trust me on that i seen plenty of brain in my time

3 i'm losin all over the place ain't i
4 ~~wes~~ my [...] buddy made me one that said "your kid's an honor student but mine goes to fairwood youth correctional facility." like he wrote it on a CVS receipt and taped it to my truck but it's the same thing right

And I'm great with my hands.

3. When you could be winning is what the real tragedy is.
4. I think the CVS receipt makes it even more credible actually, especially if it was attached by duct tape. You could needlepoint one for your new home.

i'll wait to agree til the reviews come in from you pinning quaid etc

3 gonna slap some orange on my prom look and prove you wrong.
4 ain't the same if it ain't made by him but i got duke's mugshot too. it's good decor.

Ouch. Kind of offended it isn't obvious and you don't trust me.

3. I love to be proven wrong, guess I'll have to wait to agree then.
4. Is he smiling in it? He strikes me as someone who might.

i'm playing by your rules now. bein mean.

1 i need the glasses i'm gonna come do the thing you said
4 you didn't ask the most important question first which was if he had a mullet. or a rat tail, which we just call tails sometimes on account of our names cause we're clever like that

Doesn't really suit you though.

1. Well if you'll only listen to 1 thing I say, that's probably the best one. No rush.
4. Weird that you didn't trademark it, put your faces on some merchandise when you could have.

i got it in me, i used to be a jackass. nice to hear i did a good enough job pullin myself out though

1 gonna rush. got good reason.
4 copyright don't exist in the bayou, you just shove somebody into gator water if they do your thing too much

Really? I genuinely...can't see it. I guess we've all become something a little different. Maybe there's a reformed serial killer or two here.

Well that really escalates.

yeah it's called workin on yourself n also getting the fuck out of your hometown. i'd be ok with a serial killer if they were one of those vigilante ones

why do shit by halves when you got gator water everywhere

Not sure why you got out so fast when there's built in gator waters for all your problem solving needs. Not having any of those is actually why I left Oregon for Seattle in fact, traded it up for sharks though.

Unfortunately I don't think you get your pick of serial killers.

my wife left me for my best friend and everybody at the supermarket talked about it when all i wanted were some chips so i said "hey fuck this". how many folks you threw to the sharks so far

we'll take what we can get these days tbh

That sounds rough, I'm sorry. Have you thought about just eating chips instead of getting married so much?

I only threw in a handful, for science.

it's alright, we were a shitshow. but nat i look so cute in a $50 tux and when you're married you got twice the people goin out to buy chips

how many did you have before n where were you keeping em???

Wait, is this why people get married? You did it three times just to make off like a bandit with the quality chips? I bet they give you the kettle cooked ones, and the ruffles? I've wasted years.

In my lab, I stashed them next to my monocle and the shark harnesses so they can shoot lasers.

it's matrimony's best kept secret

if we get a supercommunity we better get a laser shark moat too.

Does that mean the owner of Frito-Lay is a huge polygamist?

I think the risk of the laser sharks going feral might be too big, unfortunately. I'd take the feral moose over a feral shark with a laser.

that's frito-lay's best kept one

bro are you kidding me, moose are at least 20 times scarier than sharks. sharks get on land n they die but moose get in water????? they SWIM

No, it's definitely the Flamin' Hot recipe.

Okay fair point about the land bit, but you're telling me you're more afraid of a moose in water than a shark? No way. Also they would have way better aim with a laser than a Moose.

[...] fritos made cheetos???? [...] fuck [...] we ain't never getting fresh cheetos again. grief keeps finding new ways of punching us in the nuts

SHARKS CAN'T EVEN LOOK OVER THEIR SHOULDERS [...] ~~do sharks even ha~~

You'd think if they had a heart and hope for humanity's future, they would have dropped that recipe before things went dark. There's always a Quad field trip to the factory, the spices must just be sitting there.

Because they don't have any! What they do have is excellent eyesight, a bite force in the thousands of pounds, and a great theme song. Do Moose have a theme song?

if you had the spices d'you reckon you could remake flamin hot cheetos

they sure as fuck do. canada's.

Maybe? It would probably require a lot of taste testing, do we have any flamin hot cheetos around? Making a corn puff wouldn't actually be too difficult, but getting it right would be. You don't have to be a food chemist to make them, we could do it in your kitchen even.

Moose don't have a nationality or passport.

don't need a bag, you got an expert right here, i'm like a goddamn bloodhound for snack foods

no but they have a theme song. canada's.

Well alright then, we've got an experiment!

Do the Moose have something on you?

moose're notorious for blackmail

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